Exactly a year ago, sadly, was the last time I saw my dad (for now). I have been crying then and now as pangs of pain and loneliness with regrets overwhelm me. Twenty eight years; that short was the time I’ve had a father…in those 28 years, many were spent away and reminisced only through letters and photographs.

My dad never failed to send photos of himself when he was in Greece,  Norway, the Netherlands, Germany and other parts of the globe though mostly at sea. He enjoyed the life of being a seaman and he was proud as I was that he had seen many places at a young age. As I looked at those photos, I remembered the stories my dad told me back in the days …


I can’t remember how many times I myself wrote him a letter…so for now, I am writing him a letter, one I will hold on to until we meet again…when God calls him from deep sleep. (John 5:28-29)

“Dear Dad,

I am not one who observe Father’s day as those other days designated  as someone’s special day. When you read this letter, it means that I’ve survived and endured the race that’s why I was able to personally hand it to you.

For a year now there were mornings that I would wake up in tears, remembering that you are already in deep sleep. I am grateful that I learned the truth before this happened. Now, I look forward to the promised Paradise with hope and longing…to the appointed time that I can welcome you back and proudly say “Dad, I did good, I stood up for the truth.”  To finally able to tell you and proudly show you that I ‘ve raised my kids well and have instilled in them the truth that has lead us to everlasting life. Now, you can finally meet my youngest, who has most resembled you.

Thanks, that’s the first thing I wanted to say. For bringing me to this world. That in itself was the greatest gift. Though imperfect, I found my place in it and understood what’s it about. Thank you for the inspiration, for making me love different cultures and languages…Achtung! That was your favorite German word, be proud that your daughter is now fluent in  it…Ich habe dich vermisst…

Thank you for believing in me…I never got the chance to thank you for that but I endured what I should because I knew that there was someone who always believed in me no matter what.

Thanks Dad, thanks really, sorry that I told you too late…then again, we have  a fresh start here in Paradise. No more pain, no more crying, my only tears are for happiness….(Revelation 21:4)

Love, Gizellae

10 June 2010


mommy moments