As I was visiting some blogs, I stumbled onto a post asking the readers; “Why Do People Decide to Marry?” It got me thinking. Why do we indeed marry? It’s probably asked a million times before and answered as much but I bet that as we are diverse as the combinations of the images and colors in a kaleidoscope, we individually have a reason to show how we loved that “other” enough to stand up in front of everyone else and declare that love publicly. I won’t attempt to answer but I would answer two other questions I was asked recently.
A friend just got engaged, we’ve been talking about it all and at one time she asked “how did you know that he’s the right one?” She’s referring to me getting married earlier on. I was 20. (I know, so young.) We just finished college (and she, the friend who asked, was my classmate), I got married to my then beau a few months after graduation and still in it until now.
My friend finds it amazing…rather, a few notches than amazing that we’re still together. Perhaps our generation were taught that if you get married at an early age, you are more prone to separate. I don’t know where that notion came from but I always believed that maturity doesn’t really come with such numbers.
Twelve years (give or take), that’s how long and yeah, wonder not, we didn’t get past the seven-year itch smoothly. We even started awkwardly, maybe hesitantly and not without disapproval. We had to struggle but, thankfully we were able to go through with it all. It was after those moments that we realized – that yes, we’re stuck with each other. ^_^
Stuck in a lovely way…that is. Now, we’re able to let the misgivings just go by. The petty quarrels have been reduced to almost nothingness and we always find the comical side of things (and he is anyway so humorous, sends me to the floor laughing always). It may sound boring to some, but it’s much better for me. I couldn’t bear quarrels and I’m not so good at patching things up so I credit the husband for always having been the more understanding half between the two of us. (Admittedly, sadly.)
So how did I know back then that the man I was to marry will be the one I would spend days of sickness and health, moments of wealth and scarcity, times of failure and triumph? I really had no idea…until now. My reaction to that question was utter silence; a few minutes of deep thinking and a sigh.
That’s just about the same response I give to the second question. That’s when the husband asks the perennial question – “why do you love me?”- every single day (just when I was starting to write this piece too). He does that to get a reaction or maybe assurance, whichever he fancies. I always had it differently but being a music lover, I’d sometimes pick a line from a random song and recite it to him. Sometimes I answer with whatever I feel at the moment so imagine how many answers I’ve given him by now. Yet, the question is still always posed.
There’s so many answers we can give as to why we love someone. My favorite would be that Bible definition which is appropriate, selfless and true.
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails...
Looking through it, well, I can say that at how our relationship goes now, we can closely define it as how it should be above. So why do we love? Hmmm, here’s my attempt to define that. You may love someone because he or she makes you become a better person, because he or she makes you feel well taken care of, because he or she is the reason that you smile every waking morning. I guess it’s that. Love is your reason for going on in life, for going through the day, looking forward to coming home later and just be with that special person who’s been there beside you since day one. Love is…your reason for wanting to wake up tomorrow…
Hmmm…not convincing but a good try. I’d probably make the husband read this when he asks again today. 🙂
Edit: got asked again just after publishing…
In my opinion we love because we want to express our feelings. We love a person because they complete us … fills up that empty void of being alone. 🙂
When I first met hubby, he was worship leader in the church where I was a new member. Naturally, I was star struck. LOL
As I got to know God and His sovereignty in the universe…His will and all that, I eventually knew that hubs was the one for me. However, it was not an easy relationship. We are both diamonds in the dust that needed a lot of refining till we were ready to get married.
It took all of 7.5 years before we were finally married. We are still not perfect, far from it. But I know that God continues to work in our individual lives and in our marriage. I’d like to think that He is the point that completes our love triangle.
So why do I love him? Why did we get married? I believe perhaps that it is God’s will for us and that He has a purpose for this marriage and for this family. While others are destined for single blessedness or blessed singleness, I believe that our marriage was destined to be.
P.S. We were about a year married when I opened his old drawer to transfer some stuff and I found his “list”. It was his prayer list for a future partner. And it was like reading about myself. It was those qualities that he prayed for in a wife. And I guess, he got what he asked for. You will just have to ask him though if he did not regret it. LOL
Ang comment ko in japansese:Otona desune,daisuki!(taz maraming heart)ba’t naman puro question mark ang nandyan?lolz (kirawareteiru kamo(T_T))